Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Unworthy

CAUTION: I FEEL THE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY SAD FEELINGS TODAY. SO I AM GOING TO BE VERY HONEST AND OPEN WITH YOU ALL. SKIP THIS POST IF YOU DON'T CARE TO LISTEN.

Today is one of those days where I don't feel worthy at all. Yes, I am a normal person and feel this from time to time. This is just one of those weeks where nothing seems to be going right. Just a little personal note, I do have depression and take anti-depressants. This of course adds to my feelings of self worth. My last semester of school was the worst my depression has ever got. It was absolutely awful. I mean AWFUL. That's all I will say about that. And another side note: I know some older people don't believe that so many college kids have depression now a days. Some people say that they are being too flexible with the symptoms and basically prescribe anyone medicine. This may be the case but I just want to throw out there that my case is very much legitimate. I am a very strong person but this does get me. But anyways when I get into this slump of "I'm not worthy of anything", it is hard to get out of it with depression sitting on my shoulder.

I have such an amazing support group of friends and family that continually let me know they love me. My boyfriend does his absolute best to make me feel loved and he does a great job of it because I know I am! Days like today though, none of that seems to be enough though as petty as that may sound. However, there is one thing that always helps to revive me no matter how hard the devil is trying to bring me down. Of course, that is my father God.

If I was not a Christian and went through depression I do not know where I would be. God is my rock, my strength, and my refuge. I am so so worthy of everything! Jesus died for me... for ME! If I was not worthy, would God really send his own son to sacrifice on my behalf? I have so much to be thankful for in my life and so much to live for that I should not wallow in sadness. I should always be joyful because God has given me so much and has so much more planned for me then I can even imagine now. No matter how down I feel on myself, I know that I AM worthy and I AM beautiful and I AM loved. God made the ultimate sacrifice for me!

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isiah 41:10

God is always there for me to lean on and to cry to. He hears my prayers and will answer them. He gives me the strength I need to be joyful when I feel like I can't be. He lifts me up when I feel the devil trying to drag me down. What an amazing father I have! Goodness, just by simply writing this post about Him I feel renewed and more joyful than I was an hour ago.

I hope this post does serve a purpose and touches someone out there who may be struggling with the same thing. I was writing a post earlier about a different topic but I kept feeling like the only thing I should write about today was this. So I hope by throwing myself out here like this, that someone else benefits from it and feels encouraged! Now remember, tomorrow is thankful thursday! So please link up with me as we talk about what we are all thankful for tomorrow! What a great follow up to this post right??? Haha!
God reminds us every day of his love, sometimes we just dont notice, though this is pretty clear. How gorgeous.

2 comments:

  1. tomorrow will be great and ok and good even in the midst of suffering which i can completely relate to you, even when nothing horrific has happened, the feeling of feeling unworthy sinks us into the depths of nowhere. the enemy is so deceiving and he takes that in any shape/form/way he can which pulls us in. your not alone, thanks for sharing your heart megan! and i'm a nearby neighbor so if you ever want to chat it up, don't be scared!

    (ok i think this was officially my longest comment, i'm stopping haha)

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  2. Your strength and constant trust in God amazes me. Keep your head up, girl. I'll be praying for you!

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